I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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