You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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