Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
