I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Randomize
