so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
zippers are such a cool invention
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
