I am puke
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
