This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
