i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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