that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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