The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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