We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
