his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
