I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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