96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I yelled at your uterus for you.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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