Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
