you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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