I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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