I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
