You just made me feel so damn special
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
