if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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