Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
