He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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