and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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