I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
