I wanna passion pit in your ass
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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