what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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