Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
