Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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