What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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