I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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