half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
