He told me they were just razor bumps!
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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