...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
