Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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