This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
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I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
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He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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