Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
