I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
