Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
