Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
