Someone shit on the floor
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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