Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
