Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
high people should be assigned attendants
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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