But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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