I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
