I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
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