ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Randomize
