Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
