we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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