Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
