he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
