IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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