there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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