who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
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