Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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