It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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