Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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