Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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