A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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