Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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