Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
