Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
