But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
