I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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