is your mom at the bar?
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
