Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
