You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
they're like a gay fantastic four
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
