ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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